I have had literally dozens of requests to give a list of the duties of a maid of honour. These are via multiple books, magazines and bridesmaid101.com
- Help the bride in looking for her venue. Typically the groom will not be involved until the venue is selected and the final selection will often rely on his and her final opinion together. Help her select the venue, ceremony and the timing of these events. Help her in any way possible as this will be one of the most stressfull tasks.
- Help the bride pick out invitations and address the invitations. This can take hours and even days, so pack your red bull.
- Help pick out / have a huge say in the bridesmaids dresses. If necessary, it may be vital for you to pick up the bridesmaids dresses after they have been altered.
- Go to all of the registries with the bride to be.
- One of the most important aspects of the wedding reception will be the seating arrangement. This will often be long and grulling: Help in any way you can, even if you are just offering moral support.
-Host both the bridal shower and bachelorette party. You are responsible for arranging meetings between the bridesmaids and ensuring everyone does their part. The point is to shower the bride with gifts and love - not stress her with another event!
- Help keep order and organization within the other bridesmaids. It is important that you keep the other bridesmaids as calm and collected as possible. Also help to ensure that they are able to participate in other events by offering to drive, offering to help them with the alterations etc etc etc.
- Attend and help out during events such as the rehearsal dinner, engagement parties etc. It is important that above everyone else you are calm, collected and most importantly ORGANIZED. The bride and groom will be incredibly stressed and busy during these times and having you on their side is probably why they selected you in the first place.
- Almost always the maid of honour will attend all catering and cake tastings with the bride.
- Help to assemble programs, favours, centerpieces etc.
- Make sure the bride is well prepared the night before, make sure you are her second brain. This maid of honour checklist will help you out: http://www.bridesmaid101.com/maid_of_honor_checklistp.html
- Assist the bride in getting ready / dressed on the day of. Make sure you are the first to be ready so that you are the first to help her for the rest of the morning. Remember that today is not about you, it is important to look nice but it is much more important to be supportive of the bride on this very important morning.
- While the bride is getting ready, go to the ceremony location and make sure everything is in perfect order. Make sure the programs are out, the card box is out, the flowers are perfect and the chairs are set up and have arrived. Ensure the proper music is set to play and if there are live performers, ensure their arrival.
-You are the messenger between the bride and the groom/ guests/family.
- Calm the bride down / give her quiet time to herself if necessary.
- Hold the brides train /veil as she goes down the aisle
- Hold the grooms rings/ brides bouquet as the ceremony commences.
- You are the witness to their marriage - you must sign as such. (truly the best part of being a maid of honour)
- You need to be a go -to person for the guests. Be familiar with the area, be familiar with the time of the cocktail hour, bathroom locations etc etc.
- It is your job/along with the other bridesmaids/groomsmen to get the party going at the reception. Get people drinking, get people dancing!
- After the first dance/ all of the guests have arrived, you need to make sure you take the money box to a locked safe/room to keep it protected.
For the traditional costs that a maid of honour will incur: http://www.bridesmaid101.com/maid_of_honor_expenses.html
Above all of this: Remember that a wedding, although wonderful, will probably be the most stressful event in her life. She chose you because she trusts you, live in the moment and give her everything she deserves - because she is depending on you. Being a maid of honour, although stressful, is one of the best honours you can be given on the day of the wedding and many people are counting on you and will be looking at you on the wedding. Today is your day to shine as one of her best friends.